Gossip, rumor and innuendo. Teasing and sarcasm. Dumping, trashing, slamming and bad-mouthing.
Stop it!
Stop talking badly about people, and encouraging others to do so, too. Stop building yourself up by beating others down.
In my retreats and in life, I have seen how negative words affect people on the receiving end. I see a lifetime of ingrained behavior in people who have been beaten down – by parents, siblings, teachers or friends.
All it takes are a few poorly chosen, emotionally charged words directed at a young mind for the seeds to take root. But too often, those words aren’t one-time affairs. They’re continually reinforced, to the point that the child believes such talk. His view of himself has been set.
Just stop it. And start by becoming aware of your words. Listen to what you say. Catch yourself gossiping. When those around you do it, tell them, “I won’t participate in this.” And leave. Take the risk.
Do you see yourself doing it? Ask others to help you. I asked a friend, and he told me that I interrupt and that I can be condescending. I didn’t realize I was acting this way and its impact on others completely escaped me.
So my next step was to Audit my conversations for the next week. This awareness helped change my communication, and impact, with others.
The key here is I asked for feedback, was not defensive, and then I sought to change my actions.
In short, I resolved to Just Stop it.
