I have taken stock in differentiating among my relationships: the ones that work and those that fall short of fulfillment. I have learned that my meaningful relationships have come when I focus more on being ‘known’ rather than being ‘validated’. While it’s flattering to get approval and pats on the back, my relations are more likely to flourish when I concentrate on showing up as I am even if what I show is not always so pretty.
When I express myself - rather than try to impress others - over time, my relationships strengthen and grow in intimacy. Indeed, my passion comes alive and my best stuff is actually seen.
Expressing myself - and being known - has a profound effect on building successful business associations and thriving friendships within proper boundaries.
So, I have learned to do a cognitive reconstruction in how I approach relationships: validation is nice, but being known - really known - comes first.
I suppose it’s no coincidence that the word “know” etymologically means to have been passionate with someone in a loving way as well as acquiring knowledge.
My lesson: when I am ‘known’ ... I end up getting the approval.
Passion rules!
Barry
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