Yes, it’s that time of year when many of us feel compelled to create “resolutions” for 2010. At this point, most of them are tongue in cheek, since we have way to many years of experience with unfulfilled resolutions to take them too seriously.
It’s true that they may direct and motivate us for a period of time. Gym memberships and attendance always have a seasonal high with new memberships and attendance this time of year. Everyone is looking to shed those few extra pounds of holiday cheer. But, like most of the other resolutions, attendance will falter after a while as the in’s and out’s of everyday life take over, once again.
So, how do I truly make changes in my life that are important to me?
First, take a look at how the current behavior is serving you. If I want to lose weight, then I would ask, “how is keeping the extra weight on in some way benefiting you?” It could be that when you begin to explore this issue, you gain awareness that you use food to medicate stress, or you use food as a “reward” for working hard. Maybe food is the one area of your life you feel like you are “in control” so you are going to eat and drink whatever you want.
You get the picture. There is likely an incentive to continue the behavior that you want to let go of. That’s why its important to become aware and understand what that is, so you can begin to find other ways to get those needs met, and not through the behavior you want to change.
Second, be clear about what do you really want to say “yes” to. For example, if I want to lose 10 pounds, having a resolution of “losing 10 pounds” will only get you a temporary push in that direction. You may lose 5 pounds, or even 10, only to find that within 9 months, your right back where you started if not heavier.
So, what if what you really want to say yes to in your life is good health. Then this becomes a lifestyle choice that can be integrated into a lifelong value. Once I’m clear about what I want to say yes to, then I can say “no” to eating deserts, fried foods, extra sleep so I can get to the gym, meals after 9:00 pm, etc. But until I have a clear “yes” it’s impossible to consistently say “no”.
Third, connect with the benefits of obtaining your big want. So, what would be the benefits of actually being healthy? More energy, live longer, feel better about yourself, etc. List all of them that you feel are true for you. When you are done, ask yourself the question, is this enough incentive to make the changes you want to make? Is it worth it? If it’s not, pick something else to work on, because it may not be time to change this particular behavior (at least not right now). If it is, then ground yourself in the motivation that comes from this as a goal.
Finally, build a realistic plan and enlist someone as an accountability partner. Changing your life is never easy. So, having unrealistic expectations or an overly burdensome plan will become demotivating. The bar may be set too high. In addition, having someone that you can check-in with on progress will help continue to keep your focus on the changes you want to make.
So, yes it’s that time of year again. This year, just maybe, things will turn out different! This year, my resolution is to have resolutions that actually change my life.
