How to Shift Your Perspective when Chaos Shows Up

Chaos within a management team is inevitable. We define chaos as anything that takes the team out of its comfort zone. Usually when a team or individual senses that there is “chaos ahead”, they try to avoid or minimize the issue. This is completely natural!! Who WANTS chaos?!

The shift here is to know that chaos is not only inevitable, it is a necessary and important predicate to help the individual and the team perform at a higher level.

So how does a team embrace the chaos rather than avoid it? It starts by changing your perspective about the purpose of chaos and invites you to lean into the discomfort that it brings.  For those individuals and teams that can move into the chaos, our experience is that it will lead to important discovery for everyone involved.

So, how do you do that? Start by changing what Chaos stands for by remembering an acronym that you can use to your advantage:

Curious - when chaos shows up, shift from defensiveness to curiosity to see what is going on with the team or what is it about me that is contributing to this drama.

Happy - be glad that the chaos is here to get all the underlying angst out in the open so it can be dealt with. It’s much better to get the elephants out in the open rather than letting them fester in the shadows.

Actively listen - tune in to really understand where everyone is coming from rather than tuning others out so that up you can formulate your response. This is one of the most critical skill sets for individuals within top performing teams.

Open mindset vs. closed mindset - remember that everyone is working for the same goal - improved results - so don't take things so personally and be open to a constructive debate.

Surrender - our experience with chaos shows us that some positive will ultimately come if we can just stay with the chaos and not shut it down because it’s uncomfortable.  So trust that the process will lead to something meaningful.  Let go of controlling the outcome to protect a preconceived idea of what winning looks like.

So the next time that chaos shows up - shift into being curious, happy, actively listening, with an open mindset, and surrender that this is ultimately a positive thing. You will be surprised at how much more effective you will be in the chaos and how much you - and the team - will grow in the process.

10 Positive Things You’ll Find on the Other Side of Chaos

Chaos is difficult and scary - and easy to avoid. That’s why many of us choose not to confront someone with our truth. Even when I know that my truth is just my set of beliefs, opinions and perspective, it can come off as a biting, confrontational attack that will likely create chaos in my life. So, I will choose to keep something to myself before going into the uncertainty of what may lie at the other end of chaos - even at the expense of the discontent and frustration I feel from staying put on this side of chaos. And, it becomes the familiar default to any hint of confrontation.

The shift is to take a risk into the other side of chaos - though a mystery, it is a place of discovery with opportunities for growth.

Here are 10 positive things you’ll find on the other side of chaos:

1. I clear what is/has bothered me. That pit in my stomach that is triggered when I see you has miraculously disappeared - just by speaking my truth. Even if my truth does not land comfortably on you, I am relieved, and that is a start.

2. You start to get me. By sharing my truth, you begin understanding me, who I am and what I believe, with more depth.

3. I become aware of my role or responsibility. By going into the chaos, I have the opportunity to accept that things do not just happen to me, rather I have a part in attracting or creating what bothers me.

4. With an open mind, your curiosity invites you to consider my point of view. Even when I own my judgements - which may or not be true - you can choose to accept them for yourself.

5. I become more self-aware. I am actually connecting with myself at a deeper, more authentic level. And, with self-awareness, I make better decisions and relate more effectively with others.

6. You can clear with me. Once in the chaos, it is easier (and timely) for you to take a turn and get out what bothers you.

7. We connect. The discomfort of the chaos gets us more comfortable with each other.

8. We have built trust between us. Many say that it takes time for trust to build, though it is how we behave with each other that co-creates trust. And, by going through the chaos together into a place of self- and shared discovery, we have co-created a bond of trust.

9. We have created safety for richer engagement. The next time either of us is triggered by the other, it is safer for us to move into the chaos rather than hesitate.

10. The more we welcome chaos, the more connected we become. Ultimately, we build a caring, supportive and authentic relationship.

Invite chaos as a gateway to growth and authentic connection.